Written by Rebecca Raynham
I'm not against wedding rings. If people love wearing them, then that's lovely and their choice. I have an engagement ring and a wedding ring and I wear them sometimes.
But most of the time, I don't wear them. I don't even wear them on a chain around my neck.
There are many reasons for this, First of all, I wash my hands a lot and hate the feeling of wetness underneath the ring.
I also have sensitive skin. Rings feel itchy and annoying halfway through the day and I am always taking them off and losing them.
Dan feels the same way too. He hates wearing jewelry. He has maybe worn his wedding ring three times since our wedding four years ago.
Actually, he told me before our wedding, that he probably wouldn't wear one ever and you know what? I was totally okay with it! We have never been ones to do things just because that is the way people have always done it.
Whilst planning our wedding, I met an acquaintance of mine for coffee and lunch. I told her that Dan didn't want to wear a ring and her reaction stunned me a little bit. She was clearly a bit too uncomfortable and laughed a bit too loudly. She shrieked "it's because he wants to have an affair!" whilst nearby cafe-goers gave us side glances.
I looked at her blankly. Surely, I said, if people want to have an affair, a ring won't stop them. A ring can be taken off if they want. I'm pretty sure many people have had affairs with their wedding rings left on too. In fact, I have read a psychological study, where they concluded that women find married men more attractive...
Rings don't hold any special significance to us. To me, they are just a "bit of jewelry". I like to think that our relationship transcends "bits of jewelry". Of course, if rings have a special significance to people, then I completely understand why they would wear one and not want to take it off. For me though, I don't have a spiritual, traditional or sentimental attachment to them.
For Dan and I, our marriage wasn't about me having the biggest diamond on my engagement ring, expensive wedding rings and a massive wedding. It was about us. Our relationship. Spending the rest of our lives together. We are not religious and it wasn't about being together in the eyes of God. It was a celebration of our unity in a secular sense and the team that we were.
We both got rings to swap on the wedding day, but it was mainly for the ceremony and I suppose there is a social expectation to have rings at your wedding, so we did it.
Some days it feels nice to wear them (I will also sometimes wear them in a social setting, when I am without Dan, as a way to ward off my many unwanted admirers... bahahaha I joke), but most of the time I don't.
Sometimes I feel like it's such a taboo, not to wear your wedding ring. If it isn't on, some people wonder if you've hit a rocky patch. I have had to explain a few times why I don't wear my ring, which I find quite funny, seeing as we live in a part of the world where it is seemingly quite open and used to new ideas and different customs.
But I know why. Dan knows why. We both know where we stand with each other and that's whats most important.
I would love to know, do rings have a special importance to you? Do you not wear one? Do you have an alternative to rings, such as a tattoo or other kinds of jewelry?